Out With A Bang

This is my final review, the last hurrah.  This has been an interesting exercise in writing and ego but now I must go.  Let us come full circle and end The Pharonic Fantasy Theatre with a review of an anime, and not just any anime but an anime film I had been waiting to see for ten years before it was finally released on DVD in the US for the first time at the beginning of the month.  Will it live up to my expectations and hopes?  Let's find out as I review

1987

Directors: 

Katsuhiro Otomo 

Atsuko Fukushima

Koji Morimoto

Hidetoshi Omori

Yasuomi Umetsu

Hiroyuki Kitazume

Mao Lamdo

Hiroyuki Kitakubo

Takashi Nakamura

Yup, as you can see from the list of directors above, this is another anthology film involving Akira director Katsuhiro Otomo.  You know the drill; time to go short by short.

Opening:  This is a clever little bit to introduce the main title, seen above.  I'm not going to give away what happens, you'll have to see it to believe it.  It is cute, hilarious and deadly frightening all at the same time.  Kudos!

Franken's Gears: A mad scientist tries to create life Franken-style, only with a ROBOT.  Goes as well as you'd expect.  This is one with no dialogue (the opening technically had dialogue but it was all in gibberish) which works fine (quite a few of the short films in Robot Carnival have little or no dialogue actually, which I can see made it ideal for importation to the West and explains its subsequent popularity on TV over here in the early 90s).  This short is merely OK, nothing special but nothing putrid either.

Deprive: This is standard 80s anime fare, which is not standard for this movie.  It involves a loyal robot rescuing a girl from alien invaders but the plot is meaningless as you are supposed to marvel at the action on display.  I have seen enough of  this type of stuff that all this short provoked from me was a ho-hum reaction.  Easily the weakest segment of the film.

Presence: An inventor creates a robot girl but destroys her when she actually starts to think for herself.  Years later his guilt catches up with him.  Everyone else seems to love this one (it's also the longest part of the movie).  I don't.  The story itself is merely okay but the character designs are creepy, the animation is fluid but unnatural (something I forgot to mention by the way: most of the animation in Robot Carnival is done at a full 24 fps, which is very rare in anime) and the protagonist is not sympathetic at all.  Oh well.

Star Light Angel: A girl goes to an amusement park, gets her heart broken then has an encounter with a romantic robot.  This one is the opposite, people seem to hate this one the most but I actually kinda like it.  It looks like an anime music video; all it needs to complete it is a J-Pop song.





Cloud: The *artsiest* short here.  It's a robot boy walking in front of changing cloud formations.  That's it.  And yet, it becomes more than that.  Subtle, meditative and beautiful, this is what anime should aspire to be every once in a while.

A Tale Of Two Robots: This is my personal favorite.  Two robots, one Japanese and one European duke it out in Tokyo.  Because it is the 19th Century however the results are hilarious.  This one comes off as both a parody of WWII Japanese propaganda and of giant robot battles in general.  It also has (in the Japanese version) the European antagonist speaking his lines in English and it alone is worth the price of admission.


Nightmare:  Imagine Fantasia's "Night On Bald Mountain", only in Tokyo and with robots.  It's okay but the influence is obvious.  Come on, guys.

Closing:  Like the beginning also cute, funny and frightening.  A perfect way to end this movie.






In the end as with all anthology movies Robot Carnival is a mixed bag.  Overall I would say that it is an above average effort, thanks to a few really good shorts and a consistently great level of animation.  I'm glad I got it even though it wasn't the revelatory experience I was hoping for (it's not as good as Labrynth Tales or Memories).  It was a fun watch.  And even the failures are interesting failures (most of the time anyway).  This movie represents a time back in the eighties when Japanese animators would actually experiment with stuff like this.  Those days are mostly gone, although Otomo did release his newest anthology movie Short Peace only a couple of years ago and it is pretty good so there is still hope.

Well, I must now sign off and say adieu (or is it sayonara?).  It has been an interesting six years, and I hope in another six I will be doing something more productive than writing movie reviews on the internet.  But who knows?  The future is always fluid but for now, for right now for The Pharonic Fantasy Theatre this is the

Turning Japanese

Today for Spooky Day something a little bit different: I usually gather up a few horror movies to review but today there will be only one movie... kind of.  See, today's film is an anthology film, made up of different stories with a common theme: ghosts.  Which is appropriate, really, since the name of the movie (in Japanese anyway) is "Ghost Stories".

1965

Director: Masaki Kobayashi 

"The Black Hair" - This is the least satisfying tale in the bunch, but it's still pretty good.  Being the first one it sort of whets your appetite for the other three.  A samurai divorces his saintly wife to marry up into a successful family and get ahead on the social ladder.  After a while though he realizes that his new wife is a total bitch and he kind of misses his ex that he treated like total crap.  He returns home and this being a ghost movie everything goes about as well as you'd expect.

"The Woman Of The Snow" - A woodcutter is caught in a snow storm and watches his companion get the life sucked out of him by a scary lady snow vampire.  Instead of killing him though she lets him go after making him promise not to tell anybody - a little while later a mysterious stranger (hmmm) shows up in his life and marries him, being a perfect wife and never aging (HMMMMM).  One night he decides to tell her about that experience in the snowstorm many those many years before.  Things go about as well as you'd expect.

This one is more striking than the last - the sets are weird and very expressionistic, with sky-balls all over the place.  And damn is that one creepy snow-lady.

"Hoichi The Earless" - This one is the best of the bunch.  It's about a blind boy at a temple who is tempted by dead spirits to come and sing for them about the battle that they all died in.  After the temple priest gets hip to the whole thing (having your workers sitting in a graveyard singing all night is apparently not cool) he paints holy symbols on Hoichi to hide him from the restless ghosts... but forgets oooooone little area (if you need to guess than look at the title, fool).  Things go about as well as you'd expect.

This is the segment from this movie that everyone remembers and for good reason.  It could easily be a standalone movie, with awesome camerawork, atmosphere and acting.  Everyone also gripes about the title giving away the ending, but the point of this movie is not that you are surprised by what happens because you're not supposed to be.  The whole point is that you basically know what is going to happen - tragic events are inevitable and obvious, and the horror comes from the viewer knowing that something really bad is going to happen, it's just a matter of when.

"In A Cup Of Tea" - This one is just weird (and that's saying something).  A samurai drinks a cup of tea (or water, I mean it looked like water to me, but the title....) that has a face in it - later he is visited by a ghost who claims to be injured because of it.  The samurai tries to fight him and his ghostly minions.  Things go about as well as you'd - wait, no they don't because the story abruptly ends, and even though I just said that the movie isn't really about surprises I'm still not gonna say why because that would ruin the fun.


Kwaidan is not an in-your-face kind of horror movie.  It's more under-your-skin creepy.  It's atmospheric, beautiful and slow.  The version I watched had twenty minutes trimmed out (Criterion seriously needs to reissue this movie) and it was still over two-and-a-half hours long.  Every minute is gorgeous though.  They don't make horror cinema like this anymore.

Happy Halloween.

All Godzilla Things Must Come To An End

It's the end of May, and that means the end of Godzilla MAYhem.  To tell you the truth I'm a little burned out after covering all of these Godzilla movies over the past few weeks... so today it's gonna be short and sweet, which is not that bad considering that the Seventies were probably the slightest time for the Godzilla franchise (although the Nineties might have been close but that's another story).  Without further ado,

Godzilla MAYhem

Part IV: The Seventies

This is the Superhero Phase.  No, seriously.  Godzilla morphs during the next five movies from a dangerous creature who reluctantly fights foes of humanity to a full-blown defender of mankind and the go-to guy for stopping ecological menaces and alien invasions.  Even the fighting has changed, being less bestial and more... kung fu.


Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1971)


This is probably the most dated Godzilla movie - actually, all of the movies of the seventies date themselves pretty badly... you can always tell exactly when these were made.  Anyway, the foe in this film is a giant monster made out of toxic sludge (this is an environmentalist film, can you tell?) and is the most disgusting enemy Godzilla has ever fought.

It's a giant, sludgy... eyegina.

This is a great movie, and everything a lover of cheesy monster movies could want.  The villainous Hedorah is genuinely creepy, the plot makes sense in a weird sort of way and it is one of the few Godzilla films after the original to depict the real, deadly consequences of having these giant monsters on the loose (it's actually a rather violent film).

This film is charming in its seventiesness:  it's really trippy, and almost artsy in a way - this is the only Godzilla movie that Yoshimitsu Banno (assistant director for The Hidden Fortress and Throne of Blood) ever directed, and it's a shame seeing as it has a lot of visual flair.

Cue Ennio Morricone.

Plus it has the "Save the Environment" theme, which Japan desperately needed in the 1970s.

...along with a backwards-flying Godzilla, apparently.

Al Gore would be proud.


Godzilla vs. Gigan (1972)

This is the worst Godzilla movie of the seventies and probably the worst ever made.  I don't like it so I'm not going to write that much about it.  The plot shows some promise early on but ends up being a standard alien invasion story with giant cockroaches controlling (what else) giant monsters in order to take over the world.

And it has hippies.

The biggest problem with Godzilla vs Gigan isn't that it's stupid, it's that it's dull.  Even the monster fight scenes are boring, and they're very poorly thought out.  One minute Godzilla is having his ass handed to him, the next minute he's making Gigan his bitch.

Brawwwwk!

This movie was the first to have a two-on-two monster match (Anguirus and King Ghidorah also appear), which would be repeated the next year in a movie that was equally as stupid but not as boring which brings us to


Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973)

This is a classic.  No, I'm dead serious.  Yes, it's bad, but it's a *fun* kind of bad.  Godzilla vs Megalon is unfairly maligned by Godzilla fans... c'mon at this point in the franchise, what do you expect, King Lear?

Pictured: Great Thespianism.

This movie is an entertaining romp, with an Ultraman-style robot superhero, a giant beetle god, a white dude with a 70s 'stache and a tiara, a car chase, groovy seventies music and enough stock footage to shake a stick at (this film and its predecessor are the worst offenders in this area).

Here's a game: see if you can identify the movies that all of the stock footage in this film comes from.  If you can you get a free cookie (actually no you don't).

But you do get *this*.  Okay, this is simultaneously the most
hilarious and awesome thing I have ever seen in a Godzilla movie.

Another point of trivia for Godzilla vs Megalon is that there are no women in it, making this the sole sausage-fest Godzilla movie.

Kinda suspicious if you ask me....

There would definitely be women in the next Godzilla movie though (miniskirts abound!) with


Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974)

The quality goes up but that's not saying much.  Mechagodzilla makes for a more credible foe than either Gigan or Megalon (even though Gigan looks kinda cool and was the first monster opponent to make Godzilla bleed).

Speaking of blood, Jun Fukuda must have been watching Sanjuro, because Godzilla gushes geysers during his fight with his robotic doppelganger.

Also, this movie technically has a 2 on 1 monster fight but Godzilla's ally, King Caesar is pretty useless so I don't count it as one.

Pictured: shattered expectations.

Still, there's a good time to be had.  The music by Masaru Sato is jazzy and fun, the monster battles are fun enough and the acting is pretty decent for this type of movie even though none of the characters are that great.

"Hold it, or the two stereotypes get it!"

Overall, I recommend it.


Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975)

Not only is this a direct sequel to the previous film, it's superior to it as well.  And it's no wonder, considering that the director for this final movie in the original series of Godzilla films is none other than Ishiro Honda.  Don't get me wrong, Jun Fukuda isn't a bad director, but outside of his sixties efforts none of his films come close to the artistry of Honda's (although this also has something to do with Toho slashing the budgets of the films as time went on).

I really love this film, although I admit it has some major flaws.  There are some huge plotholes - why did those aliens come out of nowhere to help Katsura when she had her initial accident and how did they know it would happen?

More importantly, why does Katsuita - ur, I mean, Katsura wear that outfit?

Why was Dr. Mafune discredited, nay, savagely beaten by his fellow scientists for suggesting that a dinosaur could still be alive when Godzilla, Rodan and the like had been tromping around on the Earth at that point?

Brings new meaning to the term "nerd rage", doesn't it?

Oh, well.  Even if there are major plotholes and the story is pretty standard (this is pretty good Honda but not Honda at the top of his game) except for the pathos from the female lead, what this movie lacks in substance it more than makes up for in style.

Pictured: style.

Godzilla looks better than he has in a long time.  Mechagodzilla looks as menacing as ever.

Fear the deadly RAINBOW BEAMS!

Titanosaurus (did I mention that this is another 2 vs. 1 fight, but slanted *against* Godzilla?) looks great.  For the first time in a long time the monsters actually look like they have size and mass.

The fight scenes are awesome.  Overall this is a great way to end a franchise...


...at least until 1984, when Godzilla would return as a bad guy again in the re-booted Return of Godzilla.

But that is a story for another time.  Wow, I ended writing more than I said I was going to.  I guess when we're talking about Godzilla, "short" and "sweet" don't apply, even in the nineteen hundred and seventies.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed Godzilla MAYhem... maybe this will inspire a few people to go watch some good old Godzilla movies.  The Big G definitely needs more love nowadays... I remember loving his movies when I was a kid (still do) but I haven't met any children today that have watched these and know how to appreciate them.  It's depressing in a way... there's almost no sense of wonder of real fun in entertainment aimed at young people.  Well, maybe if all the dedicated kaijuphiles work together we can turn the kiddies onto Godzilla again... or maybe the American Godzilla movie slated for 2014 can help, but I doubt it.



Sayonara.

The Agony And The Ecstasy

The second half of the 1960s not only saw Godzilla continue his metamorphosis from a terrible monster into a (somewhat) heroic figure but a change of the film series itself from one that both younger and older viewers could enjoy to one meant purely as entertainment for children. It also saw the first shift away from the old triumvirate of Honda/Tsuburaya/Ifukube, as a new director would take the helm of the first two movies of the period and not only use the musical stylings of Masaru Sato (who had scored Godzilla Raids Again) but a tropical South Seas Island location for both of his Godzilla efforts. The second two would see the return of Honda in a last bid to recapture the glory years of Godzilla and a straight-up kiddie movie, respectively. Here now is

Godzilla MAYhem

Part III: The Late Sixties

Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (1966)

This is a fun movie. Director Jun Fukuda basically gives us a James Bond-style movie, with bank robbers cum anti-heroes, SPECTRE-style villains, enslaved islanders and nubile island girls – oh, along with a giant radioactive dinosaur and the title crustacean duking it out in the climax. If that doesn’t make you want to see this movie then I can’t do anything for you.

"Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance."

All you can eat.

I've always wondered what Godzilla looks like drunk....

Oh, yeah, this movie has Mothra in it -
because you can never get enough Mothra.

"In nomine Mothra, Lepidoptera Sancta, amen."

Wow, she looks pretty immaculate for someone with no access
to modern medicine or beauty products....

When it comes down to it, this is what you came to this movie to see.

Son of Godzilla (1967)

Here I have a bit of a conundrum. See, objectively I know that this one isn’t as good as the last and in fact feels really close to it superficially (island location, nubile island girl, giant bugs), and the titular spawn of the King of the Monsters makes me want to gag and throw something at my monitor… plus Godzilla himself looks really awful, with the worst Godzilla suit ever used on any of these films. But on the other hand this was the first Godzilla movie I ever saw and it’s still a sentimental favorite. Plus it’s not that bad, with good puppet work on the giant creepy-crawlies, a neat weather-experiment plot, genuine excitement, a scary giant spider (is there any other kind?) and an awesome score by Masaru Sato.

I've always wondered what Godzilla looks like stoned....

"Look, Dr. Thompson, that giant radioactive lizard looks baked."

Okay, it's ugly, but I can deal with-

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Bugs!

This is about one frame away from turning into a domestic violence call.

Quiz time: what is more terrifying than giant bugs?

Destroy All Monsters (1968)

Godzilla fans love this one – I don’t think it’s that hot. Oh sure, it brings together all of the Toho movie monsters (thus the title) but the plot is a basic retread of Invasion of Astro-Monster (aliens control the giant monsters to take over the Earth!) with the same plot holes (*why* do the aliens need the monsters if they’re so advanced?), plus some new ones (why is Mothra confined to Monster Land? Did the Infant Islanders not want her as their goddess anymore? Where are her fairies?), but without the charm. It’s rather dull, actually, showing that Toho and Honda had basically run out of ideas by 1968. I like Ishiro Honda’s stuff but by the late Sixties he was spent creatively – he would have only one more burst of glory in the 1970s before retiring from directing (but we’ll get to that next time). This movie is watchable enough, I guess, but not spectacular – watch it to see the monster round-up but expect a minor let-down.

Okay, who's been microwaving cabbage in the break room again?

Hey, no copping a feel, buddy!

THAT'S how you destroy New York, Tri-Star!

It's the 1960s and it's not Star Trek, so all of the spaceships are
either flying saucers or rockets with butane lighters.

Poor Mothra's hanging in the back, feeling all dejected.

"Thank God.  We almost missed tonight's episode of Abarembo Shogun."

This is simultaneously the most hilarious and most awesome thing
I have ever seen in a Godzilla movie.

All Monsters Attack (1969)

This one is unfairly dumped on by Godzilla fans. What they fail to realize is that it’s a bona fide children’s film, and adults were never the target audience. Kudos to Ishiro Honda, I guess, for wanting to do something different after the previous movie, even if about half the movie is stock footage. But even that is forgivable – remember, in 1969 there was no home video and movies didn’t even come on TV that much, so the youngsters of the time period (especially those too young to have seen earlier Godzilla movies) probably relished the chance to see Godzilla’s Greatest Hits on the big screen. And the main human story, about Japanese latchkey kids and their domestic problems with their absent parents is relevant and touching, even if it gives kids a bad message in the end (impress the bullies by doing bad stuff so you can be popular!). The other interesting thing about All Monsters Attack is that it may be the only Godzilla film where Godzilla isn’t real – taking place in the “real world” as it were. In the end, it isn’t a great film or even a good one but a decent enough flick for young children… just remember to cut it some slack the next time you watch it. Even if you want to strangle that singer at the beginning.

Okay, what is it with the Japanese putting their kids in short-shorts?

...aaand, apparently Japan has Jewish people.

"So, like, who would win in a fight?  Lisa Gerrard or Elizabeth Fraser?"

Cue Ah-nold: "You are one ah-gly mathafuckah!"

Yeah, I know, kid.  If I were standing next to that I would have
that expression on my face too.

Do it again!  Do it again!

Japanese people in white-face!  Progress!

Well, that’s the end of the Sixties. Next time, things get really weird with the advent of the Seventies and the complete slide of the Godzilla film series into total bizarre, but fun garbage.