All Godzilla Things Must Come To An End

It's the end of May, and that means the end of Godzilla MAYhem.  To tell you the truth I'm a little burned out after covering all of these Godzilla movies over the past few weeks... so today it's gonna be short and sweet, which is not that bad considering that the Seventies were probably the slightest time for the Godzilla franchise (although the Nineties might have been close but that's another story).  Without further ado,

Godzilla MAYhem

Part IV: The Seventies

This is the Superhero Phase.  No, seriously.  Godzilla morphs during the next five movies from a dangerous creature who reluctantly fights foes of humanity to a full-blown defender of mankind and the go-to guy for stopping ecological menaces and alien invasions.  Even the fighting has changed, being less bestial and more... kung fu.


Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1971)


This is probably the most dated Godzilla movie - actually, all of the movies of the seventies date themselves pretty badly... you can always tell exactly when these were made.  Anyway, the foe in this film is a giant monster made out of toxic sludge (this is an environmentalist film, can you tell?) and is the most disgusting enemy Godzilla has ever fought.

It's a giant, sludgy... eyegina.

This is a great movie, and everything a lover of cheesy monster movies could want.  The villainous Hedorah is genuinely creepy, the plot makes sense in a weird sort of way and it is one of the few Godzilla films after the original to depict the real, deadly consequences of having these giant monsters on the loose (it's actually a rather violent film).

This film is charming in its seventiesness:  it's really trippy, and almost artsy in a way - this is the only Godzilla movie that Yoshimitsu Banno (assistant director for The Hidden Fortress and Throne of Blood) ever directed, and it's a shame seeing as it has a lot of visual flair.

Cue Ennio Morricone.

Plus it has the "Save the Environment" theme, which Japan desperately needed in the 1970s.

...along with a backwards-flying Godzilla, apparently.

Al Gore would be proud.


Godzilla vs. Gigan (1972)

This is the worst Godzilla movie of the seventies and probably the worst ever made.  I don't like it so I'm not going to write that much about it.  The plot shows some promise early on but ends up being a standard alien invasion story with giant cockroaches controlling (what else) giant monsters in order to take over the world.

And it has hippies.

The biggest problem with Godzilla vs Gigan isn't that it's stupid, it's that it's dull.  Even the monster fight scenes are boring, and they're very poorly thought out.  One minute Godzilla is having his ass handed to him, the next minute he's making Gigan his bitch.

Brawwwwk!

This movie was the first to have a two-on-two monster match (Anguirus and King Ghidorah also appear), which would be repeated the next year in a movie that was equally as stupid but not as boring which brings us to


Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973)

This is a classic.  No, I'm dead serious.  Yes, it's bad, but it's a *fun* kind of bad.  Godzilla vs Megalon is unfairly maligned by Godzilla fans... c'mon at this point in the franchise, what do you expect, King Lear?

Pictured: Great Thespianism.

This movie is an entertaining romp, with an Ultraman-style robot superhero, a giant beetle god, a white dude with a 70s 'stache and a tiara, a car chase, groovy seventies music and enough stock footage to shake a stick at (this film and its predecessor are the worst offenders in this area).

Here's a game: see if you can identify the movies that all of the stock footage in this film comes from.  If you can you get a free cookie (actually no you don't).

But you do get *this*.  Okay, this is simultaneously the most
hilarious and awesome thing I have ever seen in a Godzilla movie.

Another point of trivia for Godzilla vs Megalon is that there are no women in it, making this the sole sausage-fest Godzilla movie.

Kinda suspicious if you ask me....

There would definitely be women in the next Godzilla movie though (miniskirts abound!) with


Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974)

The quality goes up but that's not saying much.  Mechagodzilla makes for a more credible foe than either Gigan or Megalon (even though Gigan looks kinda cool and was the first monster opponent to make Godzilla bleed).

Speaking of blood, Jun Fukuda must have been watching Sanjuro, because Godzilla gushes geysers during his fight with his robotic doppelganger.

Also, this movie technically has a 2 on 1 monster fight but Godzilla's ally, King Caesar is pretty useless so I don't count it as one.

Pictured: shattered expectations.

Still, there's a good time to be had.  The music by Masaru Sato is jazzy and fun, the monster battles are fun enough and the acting is pretty decent for this type of movie even though none of the characters are that great.

"Hold it, or the two stereotypes get it!"

Overall, I recommend it.


Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975)

Not only is this a direct sequel to the previous film, it's superior to it as well.  And it's no wonder, considering that the director for this final movie in the original series of Godzilla films is none other than Ishiro Honda.  Don't get me wrong, Jun Fukuda isn't a bad director, but outside of his sixties efforts none of his films come close to the artistry of Honda's (although this also has something to do with Toho slashing the budgets of the films as time went on).

I really love this film, although I admit it has some major flaws.  There are some huge plotholes - why did those aliens come out of nowhere to help Katsura when she had her initial accident and how did they know it would happen?

More importantly, why does Katsuita - ur, I mean, Katsura wear that outfit?

Why was Dr. Mafune discredited, nay, savagely beaten by his fellow scientists for suggesting that a dinosaur could still be alive when Godzilla, Rodan and the like had been tromping around on the Earth at that point?

Brings new meaning to the term "nerd rage", doesn't it?

Oh, well.  Even if there are major plotholes and the story is pretty standard (this is pretty good Honda but not Honda at the top of his game) except for the pathos from the female lead, what this movie lacks in substance it more than makes up for in style.

Pictured: style.

Godzilla looks better than he has in a long time.  Mechagodzilla looks as menacing as ever.

Fear the deadly RAINBOW BEAMS!

Titanosaurus (did I mention that this is another 2 vs. 1 fight, but slanted *against* Godzilla?) looks great.  For the first time in a long time the monsters actually look like they have size and mass.

The fight scenes are awesome.  Overall this is a great way to end a franchise...


...at least until 1984, when Godzilla would return as a bad guy again in the re-booted Return of Godzilla.

But that is a story for another time.  Wow, I ended writing more than I said I was going to.  I guess when we're talking about Godzilla, "short" and "sweet" don't apply, even in the nineteen hundred and seventies.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed Godzilla MAYhem... maybe this will inspire a few people to go watch some good old Godzilla movies.  The Big G definitely needs more love nowadays... I remember loving his movies when I was a kid (still do) but I haven't met any children today that have watched these and know how to appreciate them.  It's depressing in a way... there's almost no sense of wonder of real fun in entertainment aimed at young people.  Well, maybe if all the dedicated kaijuphiles work together we can turn the kiddies onto Godzilla again... or maybe the American Godzilla movie slated for 2014 can help, but I doubt it.



Sayonara.

The Agony And The Ecstasy

The second half of the 1960s not only saw Godzilla continue his metamorphosis from a terrible monster into a (somewhat) heroic figure but a change of the film series itself from one that both younger and older viewers could enjoy to one meant purely as entertainment for children. It also saw the first shift away from the old triumvirate of Honda/Tsuburaya/Ifukube, as a new director would take the helm of the first two movies of the period and not only use the musical stylings of Masaru Sato (who had scored Godzilla Raids Again) but a tropical South Seas Island location for both of his Godzilla efforts. The second two would see the return of Honda in a last bid to recapture the glory years of Godzilla and a straight-up kiddie movie, respectively. Here now is

Godzilla MAYhem

Part III: The Late Sixties

Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (1966)

This is a fun movie. Director Jun Fukuda basically gives us a James Bond-style movie, with bank robbers cum anti-heroes, SPECTRE-style villains, enslaved islanders and nubile island girls – oh, along with a giant radioactive dinosaur and the title crustacean duking it out in the climax. If that doesn’t make you want to see this movie then I can’t do anything for you.

"Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance."

All you can eat.

I've always wondered what Godzilla looks like drunk....

Oh, yeah, this movie has Mothra in it -
because you can never get enough Mothra.

"In nomine Mothra, Lepidoptera Sancta, amen."

Wow, she looks pretty immaculate for someone with no access
to modern medicine or beauty products....

When it comes down to it, this is what you came to this movie to see.

Son of Godzilla (1967)

Here I have a bit of a conundrum. See, objectively I know that this one isn’t as good as the last and in fact feels really close to it superficially (island location, nubile island girl, giant bugs), and the titular spawn of the King of the Monsters makes me want to gag and throw something at my monitor… plus Godzilla himself looks really awful, with the worst Godzilla suit ever used on any of these films. But on the other hand this was the first Godzilla movie I ever saw and it’s still a sentimental favorite. Plus it’s not that bad, with good puppet work on the giant creepy-crawlies, a neat weather-experiment plot, genuine excitement, a scary giant spider (is there any other kind?) and an awesome score by Masaru Sato.

I've always wondered what Godzilla looks like stoned....

"Look, Dr. Thompson, that giant radioactive lizard looks baked."

Okay, it's ugly, but I can deal with-

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Bugs!

This is about one frame away from turning into a domestic violence call.

Quiz time: what is more terrifying than giant bugs?

Destroy All Monsters (1968)

Godzilla fans love this one – I don’t think it’s that hot. Oh sure, it brings together all of the Toho movie monsters (thus the title) but the plot is a basic retread of Invasion of Astro-Monster (aliens control the giant monsters to take over the Earth!) with the same plot holes (*why* do the aliens need the monsters if they’re so advanced?), plus some new ones (why is Mothra confined to Monster Land? Did the Infant Islanders not want her as their goddess anymore? Where are her fairies?), but without the charm. It’s rather dull, actually, showing that Toho and Honda had basically run out of ideas by 1968. I like Ishiro Honda’s stuff but by the late Sixties he was spent creatively – he would have only one more burst of glory in the 1970s before retiring from directing (but we’ll get to that next time). This movie is watchable enough, I guess, but not spectacular – watch it to see the monster round-up but expect a minor let-down.

Okay, who's been microwaving cabbage in the break room again?

Hey, no copping a feel, buddy!

THAT'S how you destroy New York, Tri-Star!

It's the 1960s and it's not Star Trek, so all of the spaceships are
either flying saucers or rockets with butane lighters.

Poor Mothra's hanging in the back, feeling all dejected.

"Thank God.  We almost missed tonight's episode of Abarembo Shogun."

This is simultaneously the most hilarious and most awesome thing
I have ever seen in a Godzilla movie.

All Monsters Attack (1969)

This one is unfairly dumped on by Godzilla fans. What they fail to realize is that it’s a bona fide children’s film, and adults were never the target audience. Kudos to Ishiro Honda, I guess, for wanting to do something different after the previous movie, even if about half the movie is stock footage. But even that is forgivable – remember, in 1969 there was no home video and movies didn’t even come on TV that much, so the youngsters of the time period (especially those too young to have seen earlier Godzilla movies) probably relished the chance to see Godzilla’s Greatest Hits on the big screen. And the main human story, about Japanese latchkey kids and their domestic problems with their absent parents is relevant and touching, even if it gives kids a bad message in the end (impress the bullies by doing bad stuff so you can be popular!). The other interesting thing about All Monsters Attack is that it may be the only Godzilla film where Godzilla isn’t real – taking place in the “real world” as it were. In the end, it isn’t a great film or even a good one but a decent enough flick for young children… just remember to cut it some slack the next time you watch it. Even if you want to strangle that singer at the beginning.

Okay, what is it with the Japanese putting their kids in short-shorts?

...aaand, apparently Japan has Jewish people.

"So, like, who would win in a fight?  Lisa Gerrard or Elizabeth Fraser?"

Cue Ah-nold: "You are one ah-gly mathafuckah!"

Yeah, I know, kid.  If I were standing next to that I would have
that expression on my face too.

Do it again!  Do it again!

Japanese people in white-face!  Progress!

Well, that’s the end of the Sixties. Next time, things get really weird with the advent of the Seventies and the complete slide of the Godzilla film series into total bizarre, but fun garbage.

Classic Psychodrama 101

The 1960s were a time of great change for Godzilla. At the beginning of the decade he was still a frightening menace to Japan and indeed the world… by the end he had metamorphosed into a defender of the world, albeit a reluctant one. This change began in the first half of the Sixties, with a string of four films, each building on the last. Without ado let’s continue our trip through

Godzilla MAYhem 

Part II: The Early Sixties 

3. King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962)

The second castle to get trashed in a Godzilla movie - what's up with that?

This is where sings start to get a little silly (even director Ishiro Honda thought so). This is actually a rather disappointing film, for quite a few reasons. First is that the original Japanese version is not really available in the United States (where I am reviewing these from), and that it wouldn’t be optimal even if it were. For this marathon I made the decision to review the original Japanese versions of each film – not that I can speak Japanese, see, but often with the Godzilla movies some scenes were deleted and sometimes even added (as we have seen with the 1956 American version of the original) for the Americanized English dub versions, and I wanted to talk about the original products. However, because of litigious wrangling the Japanese version of King Kong vs. Godzilla is not legally available in the US and I don’t have the means to see it. All I have to go on is the American version (which was co-produced simultaneously) which is cheesy, cheesy, cheesy (and very white – “we can’t show this movie to American audiences unless it has white people in it!” – thus the white reporters and scientists in clunky UN cutaways) in addition to butchering the musical track by hacking out Akira Ifukube’s music and substituting generic fifties sci-fi schlock in its place. And the sad part is that even if the Japanese version were available legally over here it wouldn’t be in good shape – reportedly the original 35mm film stock was so badly kept that the only way that the parts exclusive to the Japanese version are available is from an old 16mm transfer, meaning an obvious drop in quality at those points in the movie while watching on DVD.

Yes, this really happens in the movie.

The saddest thing is that even if the Japanese version were available legally AND in good shape that it would probably still not be very good. This was a chance to pit the two biggest movie monsters of all time against each other in mortal combat (“finish him!”)… the first time two monsters from east and west would meet… it was the first time both monsters would be shown in color, and in widescreen… and the producers completely dropped the ball with the King Kong suit. The Kong used in this movie is unbelievably bad… you could probably go down to your local party store and rent a gorilla costume that would make a better Kong than the one used in this movie. Supposedly it was the American producer’s fault – he supplied the suit and Toho was obligated to use it, and it’s a dirty shame. This is especially so considering that the *Godzilla* suit used is great, looking really reptilian and menacing.

Japanese people in black face!  Progress!

 In the end because of this deficiency in special effects (in addition to the Kong suit being awful a lot of the blue screen work is too) and its silly plot (including some rather... outdated racial views) King Kong vs. Godzilla is a very disappointing missed opportunity… still, it’s the highest grossing Godzilla movie ever. Perhaps a remake is in order?


4. Mothra vs. Godzilla (1964)

What’s *not* disappointing is this entry into the Godzilla mythos, which ends up being the second greatest Godzilla movie ever made right behind the first and actually manages to be better in some ways. The plot is somewhat similar to the original Mothra (from 1961), except that instead of greedy businessmen kidnapping Mothra’s twin fairy priestesses for exploitation and facing the wrath of the giant wool-eating kaiju they instead kidnap Mothra’s egg for commercial use and risk the safety of all in Japan when the contents of the egg hatch. Throw a pissed-off Godzilla into the mix and you have monster movie gold!

This is the film where the Godzilla series starts taking more of a turn towards the fantastic (you know, not that radioactive dinosaurs and giant gorillas were fantastic). This film includes not only a giant lepidopteran goddess and tiny, harmony vocalizing creatures that worship it but the notion that these beings would actually help the human race after being dumped on by them. The big dramatic center of Mothra vs. Godzilla is the puny human main characters begging Mothra and the shat-upon inhabitants of nuclear-devastated Infant Island to help them against the rampaging Godzilla – and she and they agree! It’s pretty weird when the character making the big dramatic decision is a giant moth, people.

Okay, now it's just a fetish.

Everything clicks in this movie. The acting is decent all around, the villains are appropriately smug and slimy, and the visuals are great. The compositing is much better than the last film, although still a little bit blurry. The Godzilla suit used for the movie is the best ever made, and looks truly evil and menacing. The score is wonderful. If you are a Godzilla fan you already own this movie. If you are just getting into Godzilla this is one of the movies you want to start with. Even if you just like fantasy films this is one to get. Watch this movie.


5. Ghidorah, The Three Headed Monster (1964)

This film, released the same year as the last one, marks the first time Godzilla helps humanity, albeit at the very end and very reluctantly. It also marks the first multiple giant monster battle, with four kaiju taking part in the final battle. The plot is, at its core, simple. A foreign princess disappears from her plane midflight then shows up in Japan claiming to be a Venusian prophetess and foretelling doom. Meanwhile a mysterious meteorite lands in the mountains and later releases King Ghidorah, the titular tricephalic titan of terror who proceeds to lay waste to everything in its path. With the help (once again!) of the twin priestesses of Mothra (who happened to be in Japan on a Mothra PR Tour), the humans must convince Godzilla as well as Rodan to team up with the giant bug to put the hurt on Ghidorah and save the world.

"King Ghidorah is coming to kill us all.  Also, I'm English."

This is actually one of the Godzilla movies that I never saw as a kid and didn’t see until it came out on DVD a few years ago. As such I didn’t have any nostalgia for it when I sat down to watch it as an adult – but you know what, I still liked it. It’s not as good as the previous installment, but it is still a very entertaining little Japanese fantasy film. The plot about the princess/prophetess (played by Akiko Wakabayashi) is entertaining enough. The singing duo The Peanuts are back again as the twin fairies and are always a hoot. The design of Ghidorah is impressive, what with his three spastic heads, genuinely scary look and weird shrieking cry. You can actually believe that it would take a team-up of the world’s strongest monsters to beat him.

Sadly, Godzilla himself isn’t quite as good looking this time around, as Eiji Tsuburaya chose to give him bigger eyes in order to make him look friendlier as befitted his new anti-heroic role. Also, some of the fight scenes are kinda goofy, including some of the antics in the final showdown with King Ghidorah. Oh well. It’s a movie with men in rubber monster costumes hitting each other – I’m not gonna be too picky.

6. Invasion of Astro Monster (1965)

It's still better looking than Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Oy. The plot of this one is rather loose and makes little sense. Full of wacky inventors, dancing monsters, flying saucers, duplicitous aliens who look like members of the Smart Patrol, mind control, and Nick Adams, this strange film is more style than substance – you will be repeatedly wondering about plot holes large enough to fit a rocket ship through. But what style! The monster fights are once again great, the story (even if it has the aforementioned holes)is entertaining and American actor Nick Adams gives more effort than a movie like this probably deserves.

It also doesn’t hurt that he has good chemistry with co-stars Akira Takarada and Kumi Mizuno (Adams and Mizuno had worked together earlier that year in Frankenstein vs. Baragon, aka Frankenstein Conquers The World). The film also continues the slow slide into silliness for the franchise, as Godzilla is shown dancing a jig after his first fight with Ghidorah on Planet X (only when reviewing a movie like this could I type a line like that). Instead of giving you a picture of it though I’ll let you get the movie and see for yourself. Ah, who am I kidding, you’ll probably just watch it on Youtube.

Are we not men? (old joke)

Invasion of Astro Monster is a fun enough romp even if objectively it’s not as coherent as the film that preceded it. If you have kids or are a kid you will want to get it – I enjoyed it very much as a child and still do to a certain extent.





Well, there’s the four Godzilla movies of the early Sixties, aka the Golden Age of Godzilla. After this the cracks would begin to show with kid-friendlier content and the increasing heroism of the title monster chipping away at what made the series great to begin with. The movie would still be enjoyable though, but that’s a tale for next time.