Thursday, March 17, 2011

Tonight's Dinner: Canned Tomatoes

Today, something a little different.  And that doesn’t just mean “no anime.”  I know that this is primarily a review blog about movies (and TV shows, and direct-to-video, and….) with a focus on actual content, but today will be different.  Today I will be posting an entry that is both a rant and a helpful guide to movies about deadly mutant produce, for today I take on the DVD release for one of my all-time favorite comedy films:


25th Anniversary DVD Review And Warning



I hate it when movie directors revisit their old films and “improve” them (see: Star Wars) with new SFX and soundtracks.  I hate it even more when they make these new versions the only ones commercially available on home video (again: Star Wars – and non-anamorphic laserdisc transfers don’t count, Lucasfilm).  As it turns out, George Lucas is not the only director to do this – even old low budget cult films are getting this treatment.  Hence, the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes 25th Anniversary DVD.


The movie itself is great – in fact, it has been one of my favorites since I was a kid.  I’m not going to go into it too much as I a)have little time and b)this post is for people who have already seen the movie already and are wondering whether to pick up the DVD or not.  And my answer to question B is: no, do not pick up the DVD, even though the picture quality is so much better.


The problem I have with this DVD is that it contains the aforementioned “new” version of Killer Tomatoes, and only the new version.  Sometimes when directors redo old movies they only change an effect here and a sound there; nothing that huge (although still annoying).  For Killer Tomatoes they have gone back and added so much stuff and taken out so much stuff that I spent my first time watching this DVD spotting all of the changes made from the original theatrical cut that I had watched on VHS over and over for so many years.  I am not going to list every single change (that would take hours) but I will try to hit the highlights (or lowlights, as the case may be):




-You can tell right away that something is up when ominous music is played over the opening scroll (it was silent originally).  Also, the opening credits now have splat sounds played as tomatoes hit the camera.


-There are numerous background overdubs added to the movie.  Sometimes it’s really insipid – for example, someone will be being eaten off-camera and a person will be dubbed also offscreen saying something like, “Oh my god!  He’s being eaten by a tomato!”  Because otherwise the audience would have no idea what was going on, right?  The worst example is the scene right after the big battle between the Army and the rampaging fruits in San Diego when Mason Dixon walks dejectedly through the neighborhoods surveying the damage.  The new version adds a monologue/news report about the fall of humanity and bad hygiene.  The original had nothing but sad music playing, parodying old war movies; it was hilarious because it played it so straight.   

Yeah. Mason, I don't know where that monologue is coming from either.


-Also, some lines have been redubbed or edited and no longer have the same punch.  The best example is the radio spot segment at Mindmaker.  (“When you’re feeling sad and blue, tomatoes end it all for you!”).  By placing that ditty (which has also been rerecorded and thus sounds less funny) in the middle of the promos being played instead of at the end, the punchline (“Pretty classy, huh?” “With a capital K.”) loses its effectiveness.


-In a similar vein, some of the films jokes are punctuated with insert shots that do nothing but interrupt the flow of the comedy and remind you that they were inserted much later.  The most egregious example I can think of is the part in the beginning when the Japanese scientist knocks a picture of the USS Arizona off the wall.  In the original it just gets knocked onto the floor and you hear a crashing sound.  In the redo you see an insert where it lands in a fishtank.  Trying to improve on jokes twenty-five years after the fact is pretty lame, guys.   



In addition a close-up insert is included near the end to inform the audience what it should already know about the relationship between the tomatoes and “Puberty Love.”   


No! With all of the foreshadowing I never would have guessed that it was "Puberty Love!"

Oh, and a close-up is also provided of the “Puberty Love” sheet music so that you know exactly what Mason is holding in his hands as he faces down the giant tomato at the climax.  This actually would have been more helpful on the old VHS where you couldn’t see what he was holding too well but it’s completely redundant in the DVD version seeing as how you can see (thanks to the clarity of the picture) exactly what he’s holding.


You can tell that it's sheet music, right?

Well, the filmmakers think you're an idiot, so here it is, anyway.



-The shot of the giant tomato chasing the lady with the shopping cart has been framed differently so that now you can’t see the wheels underneath that it’s riding on.  Come on guys, this is a low budget b-movie spoof… why bother going back to fix the FX?  The cheapness is part of its charm!



-Some lines and even whole jokes are removed.  The conversation between the President and Press Secretary about Air Force One (“Broken? The whole plane broken?” “Well, sir, you remember where the Washington Monument–”) and Air Force Two (“Hasn’t he returned that YET?”) has been deleted, for example.

-Whole scenes have been removed.  Some are small throwaway scenes and aren’t that big a deal.  Some are sorely missed.  The biggest is the dressing down of the reporter Lois by her newspaper boss (“You didn’t get the story… you ARE the story!”).   



The next biggest is the scene at the receptionists desk where it is remarked upon that plants respond to music (FORESHADOWING ALERT!).   

This is how I hit on secretaries all the time.
These exclusions puzzle me.


The only upside to the 25th Anniversary disc is that the video quality is (as already mentioned) great compared to the old VHS.  I haven’t seen the Collector’s Edition, but I think it’s just this disc plus a bonus disc of special features (this DVD release has only one special feature: the trailer).  So the only way we’ll ever get the original theatrical cut of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes on DVD is if someone like Criterion rereleases it.




And now, just because I can - and because I find this picture utterly friggin' hilarious - let's end this post with this:


Saturday, March 12, 2011

Late Work Can Be A Bitch

More catch-up, more mini-reviews, more anime.




Dreamy, but needs to learn to keep his hands to himself.
Vision of Escaflowne (TV Series, 1996) High School Student (it’s an occupation in Japan!) Hitomi is transported one day to the mystical land of Gaia, where she finds herself caught in a fight between Lord Van, the ruler of a small kingdom and the mighty Zaibach Empire, which is hunting her for her emerging psychic powers as well as planning to conquer the world and find the Secret of Atlantis.  Will Hitomi be able to elude the grasp of Zaibach?  Will she be able to help the inhabitants of Gaia find peace and prosperity?  Will she ever be able to go home again?  But most importantly, will she ever be able to choose between the cute but troubled Van and the dreamy (but also troubled) knight Allen Schezar?

Escaflowne is a very good fantasy show.  It moves quickly (no filler), has complex characters and it has good action and an intriguing story.  Watching this I was hooked, and watched multiple episodes in a row to see what happened next.  However, I can’t call it one of the absolute best anime shows ever, because there’s… something… missing.  I can’t quite put my finger on it.  Maybe for me it was missing the sense of life that the best of anime seems to have.  I don’t know.  I do know that it’s not that original.  “Japanese Schoolgirl Falls Into A Fantasy World Where She Is Special And Gets To Meet Cute Men” had been done before lots of times (it was a popular theme in the 90s); Escaflowne just merged that storyline with !GIANT ROBOTS!  And in fact, this show wasn’t even the first medieval-fantasy show with !GIANT ROBOTS!... that would be Aura Battler Dunbine, from 1983 – although admittedly Escaflowne is the superior show.

Sorry, Cham.




Escaflowne: The Movie (Film, 2000) A visually spectacular reimagining of the TV show; the story is completely different as are the characters (Princess Millerna is now a badass redhead, for example).  Only the basic setup remains the same.  And this is not a bad thing.  You could not tell the story of the original 26 episode TV show in one theatrical film.  Many fans do not like this movie.  I kind of liked it – it’s interesting to watch because it is so different from the original show.  Plus I liked the darker look and the different character designs (no pointy noses).  

If they start stripping I'm calling the Tank Police.
The only thing that keeps it from being a really good movie is that it’s too damn *short*.  This thing needed to be 2½ hours minimum to fit in all of the storyline and character development.  As it is it’s way too short and feels really rushed.  There’s some great art and animation though so I still recommend it to fans of the show or even anyone who is unfamiliar with the TV series – since the story is so different you don’t really need to know anything about Escaflowne going in.







Adolescence of Utena (Film, 1999) I’m not going to even try to describe the story of this one here, because I’m not sure that it’s even possible.  Suffice to say that it involves sword duels, weird architecture, odd imagery, strange private-school marriage rituals as well as more lesbianism and sexual symbolism than you can shake a stick at.

Or sword.

In fact the whole thing is basically a big metaphor for teen maturation as well as gay liberation.  And these are just two interpretations part of the fun of this movie is just trying to figure out what it's all about.  The other fun part about Utena is that it’s so creative and different from everything else.  And the artwork and animation for this movie are nothing short of *spectacular*.  Seriously, check it out:



And the weirdest part is that this artsy piece of shojo cinema is brought to you by Kunihiko Ikuhara, the same dude who directed the majority of Sailor Moon.  So the guy who gave you this


Also did this



Anyway, this movie is gorgeous, wildly creative and will actually make you think.  As in, “What the Hell did I just watch?!”  Highly recommended.




Steamboy (Film, 2004) Remember when I said in my New Dominion Tank Police review that if I ever saw another Evil-Murdering-Weapons-Manufacturing-Corporation-Who-Tests-Their-Weapons-By-Making-War-On-An-Industrialized-First-World-Nation in anime again I was going to scream?




AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Five Star Stories (Film, 1989) Again, I’m not going to describe the whole story to this one as it is based on a manga that is more than 10 volumes long (and still running!) and has over 5000 characters (and I just might not be exaggerating).  In a nutshell though it’s about Ladios Sopp, a !GIANT ROBOT! mechanic (or, as this anime calls him, a “Mortar Hedd Meister”) who lands on a planet in the Joker Galaxy to try to free a genetically-engineered-giant-robot-pilot-girl named Lachesis (or not – the whole movie seems to be him being indecisive on this point) from the foul clutches of a fat and greedy planetary governor.

Our hero, Ladios Sopp.  Yes, gentle reader, he is a man. 
I really liked this movie, even if it ran at an incredibly short run time of just over an hour.  I guess director Kazuo Yamazaki just wanted to conserve the budget though because the artwork in this thing is great – very stylish.  The animation is pretty good but nothing to write home about (it’s above average movie animation for the 1980s).  The main thing going for it though is that it has a unique mood.  This is one of the few sci-fi films that truly make you feel that you are in a strange, almost alien future culture (kind of like David Lynch’s adaptation of Dune, really, only not quite as disturbing and freakish).


I definitely recommend it for those that can look past its short running time (A LOT of story is compressed into this) and the fact that it’s from the Eighties.  For the love of God, though, if you get the DVD DON’T LOOK AT THE BOOKLET THAT COMES WITH IT BEFORE WATCHING THE MOVIE BECAUSE IT WILL SPOIL THE ENDING OF THE FILM FOR YOU.



Next Post: Something that is not anime, I promise



 
Um, Cham, what are you doing?  Okay, Cham, I know you're probably upset over what I said earlier but that's not the way to express your




Alright, Cham, I'm sorry about what I said earlier.  Let's just please talk about this like rational

Cham?  Cham?  No, Cham, don't