It's Always The Quiet Ones

I was really, really bummed to hear today that Harold Ramis died.  Even though I didn't know Mr. Ramis personally, I grew up with him constantly in my life... I was a Ghostbusters fanatic as a kid and to this day count the original film among my top favorites.  I watched and enjoyed Caddyshack and Groundhog Day, films that he directed.  I would say that the world will miss Harold Ramis, but...

it won't.  Not really.

Oh sure, his family and personal friends will - as he will no longer personally be in their day-to-day lives.  But there is an old saying that goes something like "death is a state of being in which one exists solely in the memories of others"  If that's the case then Harold Ramis will exist for a very, very long time.

Because of the medium in which he created.  All artists achieve some form of immortality through their works, but for many centuries, an actor's performance died with them... there was no way to record an actor's performance of a play for posterity and the skill and personality of any given thespian only survived in the memories of those who saw them when they were alive.  Film and television changed all that.  Performances have been recorded and are accessible to all, and the combination of images and sound make for a visceral, *real* experience.  Now when we want to watch an actor, noted or not, all we have to do is just watch a movie or TV show that they were in.  We just pop a DVD into our computer, or switch on the TV or even just watch a video clip on Youtube and any deceased actor will live again.  Whenever I watch The Adventures of Robin Hood, Errol Flynn is alive, even if the movie was made in the 1930s.  Whenever I watch Newsradio, Phil Hartmann is living again, just like he was before 1998.  It's like he never went away.

And now, whenever I watch Ghostbusters, Harold Ramis will be alive again and always chasing ghosts through the haunted streets of Manhattan.  So I guess the hoary old cliche about Hollywood is true - it does make people immortal.

And with the continued popularity of a classic like Ghostbusters, Harold Ramis is now very immortal.

RIP

Forward! Always Forward.

The end of one year and the start of another is always an opportunity to reminisce and reflect on the passage of time, but this year hit me moreso than previous ones.  Time has always been strange for me (as it doubtless is for most of the human race)... events from half a lifetime ago sometimes feel like they happened yesterday while stuff that happened a few days ago seem eons away.  However, I think it finally hit me this year: the formative years of my childhood and adolescence are long gone.  I realized this many years ago, obviously, but this year in particular was a big reminder.

See, this year Star Trek: Deep Space Nine turned 20 years old.  TWENTY YEARS OLD.  I watched that show when I was a kid all the way through high school.  I always thought of it as being one of the "newer" Trek shows.  Now it is comfortably in the past (with crappy reboot Trek being in the present - nope, gonna keep this post positive... no nerd rage here....).  On a related note, a lot of the PC games I played as a kid (never owned a console) turned 20 this year too.  Lucasarts' X-Wing, Day of the Tentacle, and Sam and Max Hit The Road in particular.  20 year old computer games - and I still play them on a semi regular basis (well, the adventure games, anyway).

And it's funny because in the grand scheme of things twenty years isn't piffle.  Even in the course of human history it is nothing.  But in your average human life it can seem like a long time... even when you swear that it sometimes feels like yesterday.

Well, here's to 2014 and the inevitable forward march of time.  Until we invent some sort of time machine the past will have to remain in our memories and our stories.  Which is the best place for it really... progress doesn't happen by looking backwards.

Happy New Year.

The Greatest Pleasure In Life

I was originally going to do a real movie review here but the fact that I have been working retail during the holiday season, combined with the fact that I have been stupidly sick for the last few days has prevented me from doing do (Meds are fun - all I see are little DOTS DOTS dots dots dots).

So instead, accept this warm, genuine holiday message from me to you.  This Christmas (whether you celebrate it or not) spend your time with the people you love, people who will love you and accept you no matter who or what you are, people you cherish and would do anything for.  Feast with your family and friends, and feel the spirit of peace comfort you this holiday season.

Merry Christmas.

There Is No Comparison... Until Now

Today, no review but a quick rumination on a film I both re-watched and watched for the first time recently:

1979

Director: Robert Wise

It’s funny how your perception of something can change. I have always liked Star Trek: The Motion Picture, at least I thought I have. See, ever since I was a kid I have watched it either in the extended VHS cut or the DVD Director’s Cut… but until about a week ago I had never seen the original theatrical cut, since it hadn’t been available on home video until recently. I had always wondered about all the hate for the movie… yeah, sure, it is slow and things seem to be a bit muted compared to the original TV show

And yeah, okay, the costumes are horrible.

but there is a good science fiction story and some actual character development once you look past all the pretty special effects and music and such.

Well, after seeing the original theatrical cut I understand now how people back in 1979 would have been less than plussed with this film. The movie feels choppy and confusing, with sudden cuts and lots of stuff left out. I had read before about how the film was cut down for the original release but I was still surprised at how many scenes that I took for granted were *not* in the theatrical version. The biggest omission was the key moment with Spock weeping for V’Ger (“Logic and knowledge are not enough”).

*Manly Tears*

Leaving this scene out basically destroys his character arc for the movie – STTMP is partially about Spock’s journey to find himself and attain spiritual fulfillment, and leaving out this self-realization *really* hurts the film.

Watching the theatrical cut also got me to thinking about director’s cuts of movies in general. In 2000 Robert Wise was given a chance to go back and finish Star Trek the way he wanted to back in 1979. The results are pretty good. While there is some playing around with SFX for the sake of playing around (the tram station looks pretty but was it necessary), mostly he just tries to make things look like the original storyboards (Vulcan looks sooooo much better) and what things in general would have looked like had he had time to actually finish the movie.

He thus does not engage in the George Lucas wankery of making a movie from the seventies look like some unholy hybrid of that era and the modern day (“Hi, you are watching a movie from the SEVENTIES oh now WHACK! It’s 2003!”).

For the most part the director’s cut looks like a movie from 1979 (there are a few spots where the CGI is obvious). And that’s what a director’s cut *should* be, not an excuse to go back and keep fiddling with something that you were never satisfied with because you’re a compulsive perfectionist neurotic. GEORGE.

If this were a George Lucas movie there would be
robots and lizards in the background, or something.

The only beef I have is that the 1980s TV extended cut is not on DVD (it was only ever released on VHS). While it is bloated (they threw just about everything they had in there) and there is one scene with a glaring special effects failure (the set wasn’t finished so you see scaffolding and lights) it would still be cool to have it to view for reference on DVD or Blu-Ray (for all you people with money out there). Maybe a three or four disc Mega Ultimate Special Edition? So for all of you who saw Star Trek: The Motion Picture back in the day and hated it, I understand. Pick up the Director’s Cut on DVD (it isn’t out on Blu-Ray yet) and see what you missed out on in the theatre. For those of you who haven’t seen the original theatrical version, pick it up and watch it and understand why it inspired so much ire from fans – and why they hailed the sequel.

Drifting Dangerously Off Topic

Yeah, yeah.  I know that I said when I started The Pharonic Fantasy Theatre that it would be a movie-TV-whatever blog and that I wouldn't talk about my personal life or whatever but you know what?  I gotta rant.

As I said in my last post, I'm working retail again (BLARRRRRRRGH) and I pulled a loooooong shift on Thanksgiving/Black Friday/Whatever-The-Hell-It-Holiday-It-Has-Mutated-Into-Now-We-Should-Probably-Just-Call-The-Whole-Time-From-Halloween-To-New-Year's-CONSUMEFEST and it got me thinking.  Actually seeing people lined up in front of stores in the cold made me sad for my country and humanity in general.  Is snagging a Good Deal on a giant TV set or an iPad so important that you sit outside in the cold in November on Thanksgiving, a holiday where you are SUPPOSED TO BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE?  I mean, it's sad that Americans' wages are so low now that they have to wait for one day a year to be able to afford this stuff, but it's even sadder that they think they HAVE to have it in the first place... I mean, TVs... electronic devices... toys... all the big selling items I was running through my check lane during The Time Of Consumption was absolutely non-vital.  Look, I know that this is a movie review blog (barely, I know, especially lately) but it's just a bit of fun for me - movies to me are not vital.  Food is.  Shelter is.  A genuine feeling of love and well-being for myself and others is.  Even in the realm of entertainment, something like a good book or music is much more important to me than any electronic means of entertainment.  How have people come to believe that they need this stuff for their happiness?  I would never sit in the cold and the dark to wait to get a movie, or a TV or even a CD or a book, no matter how cheap they would be.  It makes one think and reflect in sadness on the modern state of our society.

And I'm not even going to go into the violence that can accompany any of this (thankfully I didn't see any of that).

Well, just my ruminations - I will try to actually review a movie next time.  No promises though.

Still No Pretty Pictures

Long time, long time.

Working retail again (ARRRRRRRRRGH) and the holiday season is upon us... already the stores fill with endless consumeristic crap and maddening Christmas jingles.  And I work Black Friday for 12 hours straight this year.  Yum.

But I don't want to talk about any of that today.  No, what I want to talk about is the purpose of film and a reflection on its place in human existence.

What, did you think I would use that shot from Scanners here?  Pft - that's getting old.

Anyways, I saw Thor: The Dark World last Saturday.  It was... okay.  The villain was rather underdeveloped (supposedly because the studio removed over 20 minutes from the final cut, booooo) but the rest was entertaining enough.  If you like superhero movies or just fantasy movies in general I suggest you go see it.

The point is, the film got mostly lukewarm reviews, while the movie opening the same weekend that got all the rave reviews and had the critics jizzing their pants was Blue Is The Warmest Color.  I have not seen it myself, and do not plan to considering it doesn't seem to be my cup of tea - a movie that includes a 10 minute long sex scene seems a little gratuitous and artsy for its own good in my book.  But of course the film critics *ate it up* (I think they were biased because it was Freeeench).   And there are those who will say that it is "real" art, and that something like Thor is "mere" entertainment.  Well, guess what, people... it's all entertainment.  Well, unless you are watching a documentary film or something - something like Inequality For All, which I saw last month that basically told me what I already knew (but is still worth watching anyway, I recommend it) but oh well.

Films are entertainment.  They are a means of amusing yourself and keeping your mind occupied so that it is not occupied with the banalities or (heaven forbid) unpleasantries of your life.  All of the emotions they evoke, all of the drama or comedy or tragedy or excitement - they are meant as entertainment.  Yes, they can point out things about the human condition and show us ourselves - but they do so as entertainment... diversions... otherwise we would just get it in manual form.  People who believe they are watching certain films purely as art to enlighten themselves are just deluding themselves.

Because it's all the same.  Even viewing "pure" art is just a way of entertaining yourself... keeping your mind occupied until the day you day... because All Work And No Play and all that.  It's just that some people have different tastes.

In the end, whether something is artsy or actiony or well-made or badly made or whatever... it's all the same.  It's entertainment.  And I have learned not to judge others for their entertainment, no matter how shitty it appears to me.  They probably think my tastes are just as shitty.

So the lesson today is... if you have film snob friends, don't let them make you feel guilty or stupid for preferring Thor or The Hunger Games: Catching Fire or The Fast And The Furious 23: Nursing Home Wheelchair Challenge to Blue Is The Warmest Color.  Because one day we are all going to die and our tastes in movies won't count for jack shit.

Except mine of course.  Keep reading my shitty blog.

Happy Tragedy Day

Halloween again… time for more horror movies! Or “horror” movies as the case may be for some of the films reviewed this year… and they are all from Netflix this time (no pictures for you) ‘cause, hey, why not? 



First we have two old “classic” Universal monster movies:

Bride of Frankenstein (1935) – A sequel to a movie that didn’t need a sequel. Dr. Frankenstein is blackmailed by his crazy former prof and his sad-sack creation into making a lady monster. It doesn’t end well, as you can imagine. Okay, this isn’t a horror film. It isn’t scary, it’s just tragic in an existential kind of way. Watching this is like watching an old Wile. E. Coyote cartoon. The Monster can’t catch a fuckin’ break, man, he can’t catch a fuckin’ break. Seriously, your heart will go out to this guy and you’ll want to reach through the screen and punch people for picking on him. Yeah, I wonder why he keeps killing people when you treat him like crap?  Frustrating but not frightening.

The Wolf Man (1941) – Larry the Peeping Tom comes home to the UK after years spent in America (i.e. convenient excuse for his accent - riiiiiight) and gets bitten by a werewolf and you can guess the rest. This film is not scary at all… actually it’s pretty lame and kinda boring. Lon Chaney Jr. can’t act, but Claude Rains can and gives the best performance in the damn picture, especially when he has to kill his own son (yeah, I spoiled it for you. Deal with it). That is the only genuinely moving moment in the entire movie by the way. You can safely skip this one. 


Well, for two “classic” horror films those weren’t scary at all, were they? Okay, well now how about two films adapted from Stephen King, an author known for SHEER TERROR?

Carrie (1976) – Oh, godammit, another straight-up tragedy. The only thing scary in this movie (and I ain’t even gonna recount the plot because everyone in America should know it by now) is Carrie’s mom – people like this exist – and how the system fails Carrie. Yeah, she goes on her telekinetic rampage at the end and it’s kind of satisfying seeing her dish out punishment to her tormentors, but in her fury she kills her benefactors too, and that is incredibly tragic. So to sum up, this movie is a tragedy. No real frights here. No wait. There’s the famous jump scare at the end. That startled me right out of my seat, and I knew it was coming. Brilliant.

Pet Sematary (1989) – This one actually has some horror, but it’s also very tragic (I’m sensing a theme today). Let me just say that if the idea of hurting children or animals disgusts you at your core… then watch Pet Sematary! It’ll make you feel queasy and truly horrify you. The movie is about some dumbass yuppies with a cat and two small children who move into a house right next to a both a road with heavy truck traffic and an old evil Indian Burial Ground that will resurrect the dead buried in it but make them EVIL. You can see where this is going, right? Starring Tasha Yar, Hermann Munster and That One Bland Actor Where You Could Swear You’ve Seen Him Before But He Actually Hasn’t Been In Anything You’ve Ever Watched. Pet Sematary is an… okay movie. There are some minor frights, but overall not that scary.


Damn. Not a good Halloween movie marathon, is it? Huh. Well, maybe one more Netflix horror movie, one to try to finally scare me. One that isn’t a lame old Universal movie or based on the works of a certain author based out of Maine.

The Fly II (1989) – It’s the sequel to The Fly. So there has to be real horror. And there is! But it’s not that scary – it’s just gross. Yup, more goo and more gore. It’s about the son of the inventor from the previous flick (directed by David Cronenberg, who passed this one up) who grows rapidly from infancy to adulthood in about five years, all inside a corporate laboratory. By the time *he* starts transforming into a mutant fly-thing, you are rooting for him because he has had to put up with a lot of shit. And yeah… sigh, there’s more tragedy (not gonna spoil it for you this time though). But the payoff is great – everyone gets their just desserts. A lot of people have knocked this movie for not being as good as the original, but that’s like slamming Star Trek III for not being as good as Star Trek II – just enjoy the film on its own terms, people. It’s a pretty good flick, although some of the gore was gratuitous. Still recommended though.


Well, that’s it. A whole lot of tragedy this Halloween, from pictures ranging from great (Carrie) to decent (The Fly II) to middling (Pet Sematary, Bride of Frankenstein) to lame (The Wolf Man).



 Happy Halloween (sob).