Tetsuo: The Iron Man - A Review In Haiku

You might find yourself

living in a shotgun shack

once in a lifetime

An office lady

with metal blob for a hand–

the subway is fun

A modern vacuum

now with front crotch attachment

girlfriend is better

Brand new penis drill

brings new meaning to the words

I want to screw you

I don’t need no car

why take a train or a plane?

I got rocket feet

I'm Not Quite Dead Yet

I said in my last post that this blog was on hold for a while.  Well, a while has passed and it’s time to do a review again, because I don’t want to go on the cart just yet.  It’s going to be a (relatively) small review, because my life is still very busy and it will probably be another while before the next review proper, so here goes.  I just had to review today’s title – I was anticipating its release this month:  I have always wanted to see it and it has been a long time out of print (and at stupid used prices online – DAMN YOU AMAZON SCALPERS!).  Well, now it’s finally available, I’ve watched it and I love it.  Prepare yourself for

FLCL

OVA, 2000-2001

Director: Kazua Tsurumaki

Story

Naota is your typical Japanese 12 year old… except for the fact that an alien lady shows up one day, crashes into him with her Vespa scooter and whacks him upside the head with her Rickenbacker bass guitar.  And the fact that his brain is now missing.  Oh, and the fact that he now has robots springing out of his head.  How does it all tie together?  Hell if I know!

Review

Wow, is this an awesome anime series.  I know that the statement I just made is not a very eloquent or objective thing to say about something, but I’ll say it again.  Wow.   This OVA is one of the most creative, unique things I have ever seen... in any medium.  My plot synopsis and other reviews of this show make FLCL seem like nothing more than some spastic animated comedy, but it is so much more than that.  It is in fact many things at once: comedic and dramatic, wistful and witty, hyperactive and tranquil, bizarre and natural, realistic and fantastic, comfortable and unsettling.  There's enough ocular candy to make any animation enthusiast's eyes bleed, enough humor to tickle the funny bone of anyone in a funk, and enough convoluted themes and symbolism to make over-analytical academics positively orgasm in delight before writing whole books and dissertations (Susan Napier, I'm looking at you!).  Even the soundtrack is unique and extraordinary, consisting almost entirely of rock music by Japanese rock band The Pillows.  In short, FLCL is the whole of anime wrapped up into one big happy package and shoved into your brain for the ultimate animated high.  And this is as it should be, as it was Japan’s two greatest animation studios who brought you this thing – Production I.G. and (mainly) Studio Gainax.

Ah, Gainax.  After showing teenage girls being eaten alive by giant gruesome cyborgs and depicting the entire world being turned into orange tang in End of Evangelion, the maestros at Mindfuck Factory, Inc. must have wanted to do something lighter and less traumatizing.  First they tried making His and Her Circumstances, based on a shojo rom-com manga, but the original author threw a tantrum about their emphasizing the comedy over the romantic melodrama.  So they decided to do something lighter and original (so they wouldn’t have to deal with bitchy creators).  And FLCL is both very light (in tone, not density) and original (in story if not homages and references).  This Ova shows Gainax getting back to their roots as the preeminent superfans of anime, using their patented Gainax Homage System^™  in their references to their favorite animated classics: 1) Reference a trope or show 2) Mercilessly parody it  3) Celebrate it 4) Turn it up to 11.

Another way Gainax (and Production I.G.) makes this show so bold and innovative is through their awesome animation.  Different art styles and animation techniques are combined to give the viewer a one-of-a-kind experience.  Only Gainax would suddenly turn a scene into a manga, complete with panels… during a dinner conversation.  Just like with everything Gainax has ever done (where they have a budget, anyway) their love of animation itself is reflected in their work for all to behold.

However (as I said in my earlier Gunbuster review – also Gainax!) well animated crap is still crap.  What makes FLCL truly special are the great themes running through it.  The main theme of this show seems to be that adolescence suuuuuuuuuucks.  And it does.  Anyone who has gone through puberty will be able to sympathize with Naota, what with all of the changes his body goes through and his increasing alienation from those around him.  Oh, and his dealings with women (well, maybe men will be able to sympathize with him more).  In any other story (not just anime) Haruko would be this wonderful, carefree girl who showed up in the morose hero’s life to bring him out of his shell and show him how to believe in himself, love life, teach him all about the wonders of sex, and etc. etc. etc.  Well in THIS story Haruko does help Naota develop and come out of his shell, but although generally nice and sometimes maternal she is far from a wonderful dream girl – in fact she is self-serving, weird and can be downright vicious and infuriatingly enigmatic.  And as far as sex goes, she DOES teach Naota a thing or two – namely that sexual desire can be painful and confusing, as well as make robots randomly pop out of your head.

Well, before I start overanalyzing this thing and have something pop out of my head, let me conclude by saying that Gainax made another anime classic when they put together FLCL.  It is over a decade old at this point and it still seems fresh and modern.  If you like Studio Gainax or Production I.G., watch this.  If you like weird anime, watch this.  In fact, if you like anime at all you should probably watch this at least once to witness a group of animation masters practice their craft, completely unfettered by corporate concerns or audience expectation.  This is quite possibly the greatest anime OVA ever.

Screenshots

Mabase: just your typical Japanese town.

I am sure that the first thing that most of you noticed 

in this picture was that Haruko's Rick is left-handed.

Absolutely no disturbing psycho-sexual symbolic imagery going on here....

Haruko: the very image of delicate, ladylike femininity.

Yes, Canti, there is a silicon heaven.

There's a Vespa on the loose!  Run!!

FLCL: Now in exciting Mang-A-Vision!

-Ouch....

I think that's sort of cheating, Haruko....

Just an example of the subtle, nuanced humor in this show.

  

Next Post:  More mini-reviews.

And You Thought I Was Going To Do A Christmas Movie....

Very short review today, because a) my computer is in the shop for repairs (I'm using another on loan) b) today's movie is a short film (only 30 minutes) and c) I don't want to dwell too long on this short... it's too tempting to over-analyze it when all I should do is just appreciate it as a series of moving images more akin to an animated Salvador Dali painting than a traditional anime movie (yes, today is more anime - yay!).  So, without further ado, here is today's review for

Cat Soup

Short Film, 2001

Director: Tatsuo Sato

Story (What Little There Is)

A small cat tries to save his big sister's soul from being taken to the afterlife after she dies but ends up tearing it in half after a tug-o-war match with Death.  Afterwards, he and his now-zombified sister go to the circus and do stuff.  Then there is a massive flood and they do more stuff.  Then they torture a pig and do more stuff.  And then they do more stuff.  As you can see his movie is light on actual plot, though not on weird shit.

Review

This has to be one of the oddest things to come out of Japan, and I know that's saying a lot.  This is the country that gave us mutant moths, schoolgirl-loving tentacle monsters and House.  As I remarked before at the beginning of this post this short film seems to be more influenced by surrealist painters more than other anime.  What makes it even more extraordinary is that this was directed by the same man who gave us Martian Successor Nadesico, which is about as different from this as Spartacus is from 2001: A Space Odyssey.  Bad comparisons aside this surreal stream-of-consciousness animated freak-out is ripe for over-analysis and hunting for meanings in the symbolism behind every weird image put up on screen, but I'll leave that to the High School English Teachers to discuss between joints in the teacher's lounge.  Personally I just love surreal imagery and someone doing something different for a change - and Cat Soup is definitely different.  Check it out.  If you love it, great.  If not, then hey, you only wasted half an hour of your time, right?

Screenshots

No attempts at funny captions today... I think the images speak for themselves.  Also, I had to restrain myself with the number of pictures... it's so easy to want to post 30 million pics up here since the visuals in Cat Soup are so fantastic (in both senses of the word).  I decided to save some surprises for the viewer and limit myself to three.  Hopefully this will inspire you to see this movie.

 

The Best Japanese-Schoolgirls-In-A-Haunted-Hausu Movie *EVER*

Okay, this is gonna be (yet) another short review, if only because I watched this movie a few days ago and I still haven’t completely digested it yet.  House has been all over the movie and DVD sites lately, as it was just released by Criterion as well as the fact that it's touring the country as a roadshow movie.  I wanted to see this in the theatre but didn’t get the chance, for a variety of reasons.  So I ended up having to settle for watching… ugh… El Cid at home instead.  Yuck.  Anyway,  I picked up the Criterion DVD and gave it a whirl, and WOW.  Definitely better than El Cid… I’m sorry I missed this in the theatre.  Oh well, I have it to watch whenever I want and besides, it might make a better DVD movie anyway.  Well, anyways, here’s one more review of House to join all the hundreds of others hitting the net right now.  This might not be the best review of this movie or the most coherent considering – as I have said – I still haven’t completely come to grips with the film yet.

Theatrical Film, 1977

Director: Nobuhiko Obayashi

The Story

Gorgeous is in a tizzy because her father plans to remarry.  So she does what any other sane person would do: she invites her six friends Sweet, Fantasy, Mac, Kung Fu, Melody and Prof (no, really) to come with her to visit her aunt that she’s met only once at her house in the country.  No, really.  There the girls meet the mysterious Auntie and her cat, Blanche.  Oh, and start getting eaten by the house one by one.  No, really.

The Review

People often say that this movie was made by people on drugs.  I don’t think so.  Drugs are massively illegal in Japan and the drug laws are super-draconian there.  So I don’t think the people were on drugs because they would have been busted and sent to jail for fifty years.  Hell, the whole crew for this movie was probably questioned by the police after it came out.  So, no, the crew wasn’t on drugs.  The movie is on drugs.  A lot of drugs.  A lot.  Of.  Drugs.  But not the people.  Paradoxically enough.

In a way this movie reminded me of Forbidden Zone while I watched it.  That movie is also on drugs.  That movie is on crack.  House, on the other hand, is on speed. 

…and crack. 

And acid.  And ecstasy.  And glue. 

About the only drug I can think of that this is NOT on is weed.  Because weed is mellow.  Weed is laid-back.  This movie is not laid-back.  This movie is The Shining a la The Young Ones.  This movie is…

Okay, take all of the drugs I just mentioned, mix them up in a giant pot and snort them off of the nearest cat* – if you have one great if not a neighbor's – then have a staring contest with the cat.  The resulting high you will be on is what this movie is.  This is probably the most whacked-out, trippiest movie I have ever seen.

And I love it.

I can see why House is so popular with all of the cult and art-house moviegoers right now.  It is different.  It is unique.  And it is fun.  There is no other movie like it.  I know I tried vainly to describe it before as a combination of a certain Kubrick horror film and an early eighties UK punk comedy show, but that really doesn’t do this film justice.  So many film and camera techniques are used in House that it’s insane.  This was director Obayashi’s first feature film and it shows.  I think that he was experimenting with every film trick known to man just to see how they worked and how to do them.  I also think he (and everyone else) had a blast making it too – everyone in this movie looks like they’re having a lot of fun.  It’s truly dizzying to watch this movie as a result… just as soon as you’ve seen one thing another new one takes its place.  To which I say:  well done!  The world needs more movies like this.

I won’t attempt to analyze the characters, story, symbolism et al. because I don’t think any of that applies to this film.  As an example:  yes, the characters are one-dimensional but that’s the point… Obayashi is parodying the clichéd characters of horror movies and… ah, fuck it.  He did it just for fun.  Because to see a half-naked Japanese schoolgirl named Kung Fu karate chop vicious pieces of killer firewood is fun.  See, that’s how this movie works.

Anyway, in case I haven’t made it clear yet, see House.  Oh, excuse me.  See

HAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUSU.

Screenshots

Note:  None of these shots do this film justice.  House is a kinetic film, a film that is constantly moving.  To appreciate it in all its glory you have to actually see it.  All I can hope for is that these few captures of insanity will get you to see it.

Nope, absolutely no Japanese schoolgirl lesbianism going on in this scene.

Just keep moving, keep moving along... keep... um ...I'll be in my bunk.

Yep.  This is the kind of movie that this is.

Hint #1 that your reclusive old aunt may, in fact, be evil.

Sweet forgets one of the cardinal rules of horror movies:  

NEVER PICK UP THE FUCKING CAT!

What every horror movie needs: a kung fu fighting Japanese schoolgirl in panties.

....And a Japanese schoolgirl eating piano.

Surprisingly this is not the trippiest shot in the movie.

In case you haven't figured it out yet:  CATS ARE FUCKING EVIL!!

Okay, who invited Terry Gilliam?

*DISCLAIMER:  Don’t actually do this.  Taking that many drugs at once would result in a) you keeling over dead from the shock to your system and b) me being arrested for suggesting it.  So don’t do it.  In fact, don’t do any drugs.  Drugs are bad, m’kay?

Also, the cat would probably claw the shit out of you.