Finish Line Ahead

Close to the end now.  August has proven an even crappier month personally than July, so these posts have been short and to the point.  With my previous diatribe against Blu-Ray I started thinking: not that my entertainment is *THAT* important to me anymore (thus the upcoming end of this blog) but what is important to me when it comes to the media I watch my movies and shows on?  Obviously DRM is important, thus DVD over Blu-Ray, but what about my DVDs?  What is important when considering to buy or even keep certain things on DVD?  I am assuming of course that I like whatever it is I am considering.

Well, my wants have changed over the years.  Back when I first started this blog, for example, extras were very important to me.  Given the choice between a bare-bones edition DVD and a Special Ultra Limited Edition with 50 making of features and an audio commentary I was never going to listen to, I was going to choose the amped up version every time.  Nowadays I don't really need that for every movie I own, in fact I only need that for a very small percentage of the stuff I have because obsessing on entertainment and how it's made is now less important to me.  I recently re-bought some of my favorite anime movies because the picture quality was supposed to be better than the versions I already had.  Also, when it came to Wings of Honneamise and the Patlabor movies they were supposed to take up less space than the behemoth boxset versions I had on my shelves.  Well, the picture quality on the two Patlabor films was much better than on the old deluxe boxsets, while Honneamise looked exactly the same - but still took up less space, thus I kept it over the old one.  The two huge Patlabor boxsets I had were superior to the new release in every other way - they had theatrical trailers and documentaries as bonuses on the discs, they had super-informative booklets and even the complete storyboards for both movies.  But in the end the picture quality was vastly superior on the new DVDs, and I refuse to own two versions of the exact same movie (not counting Director's Cuts, etc), so I weighed my options and chose to get rid of my once beloved Patlabor boxsets.  Why?  Because picture quality trumps everything else.  All the extras are just icing on the cake, and the cake itself is more important to me anymore.  I also repurchased Vampire Hunter D (which I knew would have vastly superior picture quality seeing as how the quality on the old 2000 DVD was really poor - I was right) and again, the new release does not have as many bonus features but video quality is what counts the most.  A lot of VHD fans are up in arms about the new DVD having a new English dub rather than the old Streamline dub, but I have always watched it in Japanese anyway so I don't care.  Yes, it would have been nice to have both dubs as an option but again picture quality trumps all.

Now that I have my priorities straight when it comes to buying DVDs I feel that it easier to purchase movies and TV shows than in the past.  Life is all about priorities.  If you can learn that you'll be golden, instead of wasting time on a crappy movie blog that nobody reads.

Stooges Eternal - A Quick Musing

Can something be both timeless and dated?  One would seem to contradict the other, right?  I started wondering this whilst watching a bunch of Three Stooges shorts lately (friendly advice by the way: when you are going through a shitty time watch the Three Stooges).  See, the original Three Stooges shorts ran all the way from the 30s to the 50s and a lot of the stuff in there is going to be obviously dated.  Beyond the obvious superficial differences between then and now (the cars, the fashions, the politics, no television in the thirties, etc)  there are some things that are almost alien to the modern viewer.  Many viewers today for example would wonder what the hell an "icebox" is and why Curly would have to haul a huge block of ice up three flights of steps to deliver it to one.  

I know what an icebox is because I study history and it is actually one of the easier ones to figure out... even I however had to look up what a letterpress is (definition: Three Stooges torture implement).

But you know what?  Even with all of the dated pop culture references and facets of everyday life no longer in existence - which fascinate me, actually, as a student of history - the Three Stooges are still timeless.  Not just because physical comedy itself is timeless but because of the themes and common human experiences inherent in the Stooges' scenarios.  The Stooges as doctors will always be funny and a little bit sad, because unfortunately incompetent physicians will always exist.  

There will always be courts and trials so the Three Stooges goofing off in a murder trial and wrecking a court room will always be funny.  The Stooges wrecking a snooty rich person's house will always be funny as long as there are rich people who look down on us proles... and it gets even funnier every time the economy takes a downturn.  Speaking of which, the Stooges as homeless and/or down-on-their-luck guys will always be relevant because so many of us are either or both of those things.  There will always be love, greed, hate and laughter. 

We don't get to solve our problems by poking a dude in the eyes or completely demolishing someone's house, so we will always look up to the Stooges as well as down on them.  Wish fulfillment is always timeless.  Oh, and until the day we invent water pills and laser toilets, the Stooges being plumbers will be really relevant... and really, really funny.

So the answer to my query is yes, something can be both dated and timeless.  The Three Stooges, The Odyssey, Jimi Hendrix, Star Trek... actually combining all those would make the most awesome show in existence.  Someone needs to do a Homeric, Jimi Hendrix scored Stooge Trek.

Ch Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes?

I got a Blu-Ray player for Christmas a few days ago.  I had wanted one for a while but couldn't justify the expenditure.  Well, now that I have one I guess I can pick up some Blu-Rays, if the price is right.  To be honest though I haven't had much time to watch many movies, imaginary reader.  I am currently trying (once again) to get out of my shitastic retail job, so there's not much time to be reviewing movies and stuff.  Besides, I'm less satisfied with simply offering my opinions on other people's stuff, especially when they aren't even intelligent opinions.  Maybe I'll wind down this blog like I've thought of doing before.

Or maybe I'll just put it on hold for a while.

Or maybe I'll just keep banging out mediocre shit endlessly until the sun explodes.

Who knows?

Shameless Plug

I normally don't shill for big corporations or indeed any corporations (in fact, I even refuse to run ads on this blog even though it would net me a teeny bit of scratchola)  but I have to give some advertising space today to Netflix (which I have actually kinda written about before, reviewing movies I had seen on their site).

See, I watched David Cronenberg's first movie Shivers on the site last week, and it was a movie I had wanted to see for a long time.  The DVD had been out of print and I had been furiously searching for it in the used bookstores and online and such.  Well, I'm glad I didn't end up actually paying money (especially at the prices some of these online sellers wanted, yeesh) for it, because Netflix had it on their site and I of course immediately watched it.

And it sucked.

Other than some nudity from the ethereal Lynn Lowery, there was really nothing worth noting about Shivers.  Oh, sure, the concept was neat, and it was amusing to see Ivan Reitman (!) in the credits in an early gig, but you can really tell that it was Cronenberg's first attempt at a feature-length film.  Apparently it was a huge development to even get to the point of Scanners (now I guess I have to see Rabid and The Brood, which are hopefully better).

What I'm getting at is that I'm glad Netflix saved me from paying a lot of money for a movie that sucks.  For only $8.99 a month you get to see a bunch of movies and TV shows with no commercials and decide whether they are really worth shelling out money for.  Why get cable or satellite and pay over 80 dollars a month for 500 channels of crap and endless ads?  If Netflix got more licences and expanded  their library to include more classic movies they would be perfect.


Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, Netflix.

Now There's Something You Don't See Everyday....

It's funny when you are finally able to fulfill a childhood desire after you grow up, even the (in the grand scheme of things) small ones.  As a child, my favorite-ist movie in the whole world was Ghostbusters.  It's still one of my favorites, actually, and when I heard that it was back in theatres for Labor Day weekend I nearly had a heart attack.  Of course I went and saw it.

And you know what?

It's still awesome.  In some ways even more so.  You'd think that seeing a movie hundreds of times on home video ever since you were a kid would lessen the impact of subsequently watching that movie on the big screen but nope.  On the big screen the film has an even bigger impact - I can understand now how some film snobs would consider home viewing a dumbing down of cinema as an art form... although I doubt that film snobs would consider Ghostbusters art.  Although I would hope that they would agree that it is awesome (in both the literal and slang senses of the word).

Speaking of awesome:  I just wish my dates went like this...

...never mind, no I don't.

I was even surprised while watching this Lovecraftian Comedy Classic on the silver screen how it still holds up in the special effects 30 years later.  In fact, it holds up more than later CGI-filled blockbusters.  Hell, I enjoyed Peter Jackson's Lord Of The Rings movies but the FX always felt too fake to me - I could tell that it was all a computer image programmed by an army of nerds.  The old movie effects to me look real - real physical objects constructed by an army of nerds.

Also, I like the fact that cinematography in Ghostbusters isn't ADD like modern blockbusters.  It doesn't feel as self-consciously slick as modern blockbusters either (although the decade it was made in was responsible for starting that trend).

Another artifact from this decade: everyone smokes!

Well, it's in theatres until Thursday.  Then you'll probably have to wait another 20 or 30 years for it to hit the cineplexes again - assuming we are still watching movies by then.

And hopefully not in 3-D,
although this would make for a *wicked* 3-D shot.

A Friend Like Him

Just a quick post today on the death of Robin Williams.  Mr. Williams was never my favorite comedian nor actor, and I could only take so much of him at a time before overdose, but I can't deny that the man was talented... and I do have fond memories of watching Disney's Aladdin as a kid.  I know that the man had problems due to mental illness and drug addiction, but his departure is still a shock.  So it goes.  RIP.

It's Always The Quiet Ones

I was really, really bummed to hear today that Harold Ramis died.  Even though I didn't know Mr. Ramis personally, I grew up with him constantly in my life... I was a Ghostbusters fanatic as a kid and to this day count the original film among my top favorites.  I watched and enjoyed Caddyshack and Groundhog Day, films that he directed.  I would say that the world will miss Harold Ramis, but...

it won't.  Not really.

Oh sure, his family and personal friends will - as he will no longer personally be in their day-to-day lives.  But there is an old saying that goes something like "death is a state of being in which one exists solely in the memories of others"  If that's the case then Harold Ramis will exist for a very, very long time.

Because of the medium in which he created.  All artists achieve some form of immortality through their works, but for many centuries, an actor's performance died with them... there was no way to record an actor's performance of a play for posterity and the skill and personality of any given thespian only survived in the memories of those who saw them when they were alive.  Film and television changed all that.  Performances have been recorded and are accessible to all, and the combination of images and sound make for a visceral, *real* experience.  Now when we want to watch an actor, noted or not, all we have to do is just watch a movie or TV show that they were in.  We just pop a DVD into our computer, or switch on the TV or even just watch a video clip on Youtube and any deceased actor will live again.  Whenever I watch The Adventures of Robin Hood, Errol Flynn is alive, even if the movie was made in the 1930s.  Whenever I watch Newsradio, Phil Hartmann is living again, just like he was before 1998.  It's like he never went away.

And now, whenever I watch Ghostbusters, Harold Ramis will be alive again and always chasing ghosts through the haunted streets of Manhattan.  So I guess the hoary old cliche about Hollywood is true - it does make people immortal.

And with the continued popularity of a classic like Ghostbusters, Harold Ramis is now very immortal.

RIP

The Greatest Pleasure In Life

I was originally going to do a real movie review here but the fact that I have been working retail during the holiday season, combined with the fact that I have been stupidly sick for the last few days has prevented me from doing do (Meds are fun - all I see are little DOTS DOTS dots dots dots).

So instead, accept this warm, genuine holiday message from me to you.  This Christmas (whether you celebrate it or not) spend your time with the people you love, people who will love you and accept you no matter who or what you are, people you cherish and would do anything for.  Feast with your family and friends, and feel the spirit of peace comfort you this holiday season.

Merry Christmas.

Ugh.

Ugh.  After watching all those cheesy B-movies on Netflix I should have known when to quit but I just had to go and watch some more - I have effectively OD'd on bad movies.

Ugh.  I feel kinda sick.  Not gonna review them here (they were so bad that they aren't even worth reviewing... lesson: there are worse movies on this planet then those made by Roger Corman.  Much worse), I'm gonna detox by watching a good movie... I'll review it next week.

Ugh.

Wait For It....

Megalon says to BE PATIENT

– a very special event is being planned for next month.

Goin' Over The Cliff

Well, as I sit here, waiting to go over the fiscal cliff with the rest of my country I look back on the last year and just think about my lack of activity on my movie blog (you thought I would be worrying about more money being taken out of my paycheck?  I'm unemployed again so I don't HAVE a paycheck, suckers!  Ha!  Showed you-wait a minute....) and how much it saddens me.  Well, next year I resolve to do at least one post a month if not more, and I'll do it to movies I already own, because I have also taken a vow not to buy any movies (or any other entertainment or non-essentials) in an attempt to finally get my life on track.  Can't get out of my parents basement if I'm constantly worried about acquiring things.  Well, that's it, a happy new year to all three of my imaginary readers and keep on not reading the Pharonic Fantasy Theatre!

Anti-Climax

I know I haven't written anything in a while but please enjoy this picture of Yul Brynner preparing to rape your soul into a thousand pieces.

Der Ring's Die Thing - A Quick Thought

I know that it's been a month since my last post, but my next review (the one I promised last time) has been taking a while, for two reasons:  the first is that the next review is for a TV show and it's been taking a long time to watch episodes, grab screenshots, etc.  The other reason is that I got a copy of Richard Wagner's monumental music drama Der Ring des Nibelungen two weeks ago and listened through that, and that took a while.  Listening to that opera cycle actually got me to thinking, too.  Why hasn't Hollywood made a movie version of the Ring Cycle?  I know, I know, it's opera, but it has everything a modern movie audience could want out of a fantasy epic:  action, romance, magic rings, swords, dwarves, dragons, betrayal, gods, fate and death.  What more could you want?  Audiences seemed to love Lord of the Rings, and that was really long so I don't think length would dissuade anybody.  And I think people could get used to the fact that everyone's singing all the time... they could just think of it as a massive, fourteen hour long music video.  With epic fantasy.  And incest.  Epic fantasy incest.  Whatever.  It was common in Greek Mythology and Ancient Egypt, so it's not like people haven't encountered the concept before.  Anyways, I think it would do rather well.  And it going to see it would be a hell of a lot cheaper than going to see it at the opera house.

Well, anyways, there's my quick thought.  As I promised, I will be back next week with a positive review.

What will it be?

Well, you'll just have to wait and find out.


Thptttttttttt.