Bow Chicka Wow Wow

This week on Shakespeartember, we look at an effort from the foremost cinematic Shakespeare interpreter since Laurence Olivier.  And since I reviewed a historic tragedy last time, let's switch gears a bit today and do a comedy.  Without further ado...

Film, 1993

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Story

Much apparently is made about nothing.  Whilst everyone in Messina, Italy conspires to bring the eternally warring Beatrice and Benedick together, the evil Iago-lite, um, I mean Don John conspires to split asunder newly engaged Hero and Claudio.  Why?  Because he's named after a portable toilet, I guess.  Because this is a Shakespeare comedy, everything turns out all right in the end and no one dies a tragic, bloody death.

Review

Kenneth Branagh is an innovate, inventive director and actor of Shakespeare.  Shortly after establishing the opening shot of Messina, thus giving the audience some scenery porn

Branagh proceeds to give us some actual porn

as Emma Thompson and Kate Beckinsale start fondling each other in the shower.  Lesbian debauchery follows, and Branagh ups the stakes by supplying both a scene of Robert Sean Leonard being violated from behind

and Keanu Reeves' Don John receiving a homoerotic massage.

But Branagh doesn't stop there.  He then shows his artistic bravery and insight by showing a full-blown orgy, giving us a vision of Shakespeare that will prove both provocative and timeless.

Nah, just kidding.  Branagh doesn't really give us a porno version of Much Ado About Nothing, although that would be... interesting (especially considering that the word "nothing" was slang in Shakespeare's day for women's genitals).

The only reason I did this review this way was because I really have nothing to say about the film and needed to fill up space.  Nothing is great and you should see it.  I saw this movie about fifteen years ago in Eighth Grade English class and loved it then, and I love it now.  It overflows with life and color and joy and mirth.  It has good acting, good photography and it's just a really good way to spend two hours of your time.

See it.

The only thing I can really think of that keeps it from being perfect is the inclusion of Keanu Reeves ("And verily, I doth say unto thee: whoa") as the villain, although thankfully he doesn't get much screen time.

Oh, and I could have done without the creepy masks being suddenly shoved into my face during the party scene.

Aaaaagghhhh!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGH!!!!!!